Leave Your Baggage at the Door.

Have you ever heard a manager say, “You just have to leave your baggage at the door.”?

Phew! What a way to tell someone that they aren’t cared for AT ALL.

It is all too common to hear managers make this incredibly insensitive remark. What’s worse than saying it? Believing it is true.

Imagine for a moment that your emotions are the literal version of the “baggage” metaphor people use when saying “leave it at the door.” How would that look? Would organizations have a baggage claim at the employee entrance like at the airport?

When someone says, “leave it at the door,” what they mean instead is, “Suffocate those emotions. Bury them deep, so the rest of us aren’t distracted by your baggage. I do not want to know about your situation because I would be burdened by your emotions and it would be more difficult for me.”  

Managers want that separation from humanity. They are obliged by the necessity to treat everyone the same, always. If you check your bag at the door, your manager can treat you and everyone else, the same. They believe if they can’t apply treatment across the board, it isn’t fair. But how true is that?

Can managers give a little extra space for an employee battling cancer than they would for someone that is, in general, slightly more sluggish than the rest of the team?  Sure. Things are different for these two people. The act of recognizing this is leadership, not management.

Leaders do not focus solely on the consistent application of policy. When they see their team members struggling, they lean in. They do not avoid the baggage. A leader asks how they can support. They ask what the employee needs to make space for the struggle. Then they get to work supporting that individual so that they can both carry their baggage and their workload. They make room for feeling and emotion.

There is no baggage claim at work. People cannot leave their lives at the door. Asking them to is asking them to be a little less human.

Lean into the discomfort with your employee. Make space for them and their baggage. When they move through that discomfort, they will come out remembering how you took care of them as a person—not an employee. They will remember your respect and leadership.